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Do You Understand?

 
 
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Tonight was going to be the night. She wouldn't expect a thing. I made sure everything was in place and did a final check of the things I would need: a blindfold, a feather, a bowl of ice, a candle, a lighter, and a rubber glove "just in case". Perfect! I couldn't wait for her to come home. What would she do? This thought made my stomach flutter and for a moment I wondered if I was making a terrible mistake. The sound of a car pulling into the drive cut that apprehensive thought off before I could change my mind. How long would it take to put all this away and do the dishes? Too long. Oh, God, one look at the sink full of this morning's dishes and she'd know something was suspicious. It was the one thing she'd asked me to do before she left. Asked? Well, in her own way she asked.

"Make sure the dishes get done before I get home tonight. Do you understand?"

"Yes," had been my breathless reply. Oh, yes, I had understood. I understood perfectly well. I knew that if they weren't done I would pay for that transgression. I didn't know how the consequences would occur but I had no doubts that they would, indeed, occur. Of that I had no doubt. And now it was too late to question the intelligence of the decision I had made not to do them. They still sat stacked in the same neat piles they had been in this morning. I could almost swear they were taunting me now. Now, when even they must know it was too late to change my mind. With that final thought, the sound of a key unlocking the door invaded the thunderous silence of my own thoughts.

Holding my breath I watched as the figure of my lover filled the doorway. She had a way of making me forget even to breathe. Seeing me standing in the entrance with signs of obvious apprehension made her raise an eyebrow inquisitively. A gleam of curiosity flickered in the depths of her hazel eyes before being shadowed by a mask of indifference.

"Well, well, what has you so eager to greet me and yet so hesitant to speak, little one?" she asked softly. It was the softness that sent chills down my spine. Now more than ever I wanted desperately to have just a few more minutes to do the damn dishes! Oh, but how I anticipate pleasing her as well. The two thoughts warred for a moment in my head, echoing their sentiments. Words were stuck in my throat. I felt my mouth open and close again but no sound came out. At this, her eyebrow again raised and another glint came into her eyes, but this time it was not merely one of curiosity. It was one of open challenge and excitement. She knew more by my silence than by my words that I had not done as she had asked. She, however, was not going to let me off easily on this one. She was not going to fill in the blanks for me – she was going to demand that I admit to my sin. And she was going to draw out the anticipation as long as she could. It was a gift she had – to say and do nothing and let me torture myself in the process.

 
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